Mum – Family

I always thought that as a family we were unbreakable, we would maybe bicker between us but anyone who crossed us had better watch out! However emotions and feelings have taken hold, definitely for me and maybe for other family members. As a mum you want to be strong for your children and make them feel loved and secure I have tried to do that, but a combination of sleep deprivation, medication and total grief have made me into the sort of mother that says and does the wrong thing, forgets what I have been told and in essence haven’t concentrated on the family I have here, it’s so easy to focus on Brittany and losing her that I guess I make other people feel less loved and not as important in my life.
My parents who are being so wonderful and supportive, get very little concern or care from me, my partner who has had to deal with his father passing away and the loss of Britts, both within 3 weeks has lost the carefree spontaneous fun partner I used to be, my gorgeous Grandson, who has his own health issues, has clearly noticed that his Nana isn’t giving him the same attention as he used to get, and Jade , Taran and Amber have lost their mother and in her place is a sad , preoccupied woman who seems to just be on a different planet.
Im not writing this for sympathy or to make people feel awkward, this is how I feel and if this is what is happening in our strong family then it must occur for other families too , its just how I put it right that matters right now …………